Friday, March 28, 2008

Flash Friday - Ferrets

Picture prompted flash writing is one of the exercises we do on the Writer's Retreat. We take turns posting a picture and everyone writes a flash piece in response (500 word limit). Here's an example, and the story I wrote in response to this picture prompt:

Title: WTF!
By: Kathleen Oxley
Word Count: 419

Well, I guess the grass really isn't always greener. I mean, really. All those months stuck in that fucking glass cage. Little fingers tapping on that glass - my god, the racket. Thump, thump, thump. I just wanted to sleep and chew on my pellets in peace for Christ's sake!

What'd I tell Ronnie? Just wait till we get outta here, Ronnie. Just you wait. Things will get so much better. Fuck, shows what I know.

Damn, I miss Ronnie. At least I used to have her to talk to. And I'll kill anyone who repeats it, but she was nice to cuddle up with too. She didn't hog the hammock either! Man, those were the days.

I don't even have a hammock anymore. And I'm still in a glass cage, but now it's like I've downgraded from a mansion to a fucking condo. I can barely breathe in that space. You really should not have to eat and shit in such close proximity, it's just not healthy. And she screams at me when I shit behind the sofa. But, truly, can you blame me?

At least I got that leash thing settled early. To think she actually thought I'd prance along all dignified on the end of a string. I'm not a freakin' dog, lady! Oh, and you see this bag? It's PINK! PINK?!?! Do I look like the pink kinda guy to you? I don't care if it is the hottest accessory, I look like a total fairy! I should be glad Ronnie isn't here to see this. Gads, she'd never let me hear the end of it.

The only thing I have to look forward to is the hope that we're going to visit that chick with the stupid cat. I mean, he's so fat and lazy and they think it's all cute that I can chase him around the house. At least I get some exercise and get to make someone else feel like the bitch for a change.

Oh god, no! NO! Anything but that - please, lady, save my sanity. Anything but Hannah Montana. Anything! Don't you have any musical taste at all? Where did they breed you?

Ugh! I give up. Don't you smile and sing at me! And don't you pet me either, you hideous demon spawn! Truly, you stick that hand in here one more time and I'm gonna bite off a digit. I mean it this time - fingers will be lost. A ferret can only take so much!


Alice Audrey said...

So? How about it? Fiction Friday is tomorrow. I'd be glad to include this.

Anonymous said...

Love it! You've captured this ferret's expression and thoughts dead on. lol. Well done!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

That poor ferret...

Unhinged said...

Aw, gee, I can't believe I forgot to comment on this the first time I read it. (Unless we were chatting, and I commented in chat?)

I think it's a hilarious portrayal of a ferret's thoughts. Cursin' and acting just like a human. Pfft!